FREEDOM!! FREEDOM!! Can We Trump Freedom? Peace Be With You this July 4th, 2018

Royal Nasty Feet! Or even my children as he hands them over for me to take them all out for ice cream…but, only those who WANT to be with me. Some of my children choose not to be around me because they misunderstand me and no matter what I do, it is wrong in their eyes. Telling lies is wrong in anyone’s eyes…a praying mantis sits on my shoulder instead of a Angel…and a Squirrel sits on the other shoulder…my counselors! We live in a nutty world, and when one is poor, one often gets shafted in the end!

Today is the Fourth of July! Time to go forth and proclaim FREEDOM from whatever it is we need to be free from in order to enjoy life in a peaceful and happy manner!

I am thankful I live in a country where we can express ourselves and be creative and learn to listen to our intuition and gut emotions. I am thankful that we live in a country where we can choose to either stay home and spend a quite day with our family where we are all reasonably safe. We can also choose to go out into public to a gathering where we are reasonably safe. We can choose to go to a protest rally and form in a group of other like-minded people in a peaceful and orderly manner where our solidarity in numbers speaks volumes.

I am thankful we don’t need to spend millions of dollars in cheap fireworks in order to express our loyalty to a divided nation that makes accommodations for our differences. I am thankful that I live in a country where I can choose to go sit in a naked hot tub with a bunch of friends and sing up to the stars and feel perfectly safe, knowing that not one of them has any intentions of molesting or raping me, due to a mutual respect of a shared friendship that understands healthy boundaries and the collective experience of just appreciating being alive on this big beautiful earth. That event took place a few years back at an “Inter-dependence Day” at Lost Valley, on the outskirts of Eugene, Oregon. Beautiful memories.

This year, I am celebrating the freedom to live in a country that allows US to say things like “Swive Trump! Swive him really well!…Especially, where the SON don’t shine!”

Fuck Trump?

No Way! Keep those butt-lips far from me! Unless, Trump wants to kiss my royal nasty feet….I would actually LOVE to have an audience with Trump.

If Trump thinks he can make America great again, then he can just start with my family, my village, my community, and my neighborhood here in Oregon where we are all doing just FINE on our own! I can then enlighten him to the acronym found in the word “Fine” as explained in any A.A. meeting.

We are all just fine.

Except, for the guy who just got stabbed to death by a random schizophrenic. Many of my friends knew that young comedian who died. And, except for the other guy who shot up Thurston High School several years back. My ex-father-in-law who went to prison for pedophilia worked with Kinkle’s father at Lane Community College back in the day.

And, except for the Principal of A3 High School who may, or may not, have been facing false OR TRUE charges and accusations…maybe, his victim finally found her voice to speak out and the principal saw death as a “vialble”option rather than facing prison…or maybe the principal had been beaten up by marauders who went after him like a lunch mob or a witch hunt, and he figured it was going to be easier on his family if he just offed himself in comparison to the other options before him. We’ll never know the WHOLE ENTIRE TRUTH. EVER. ABOUT ANYTHING.

I am a Christian. I am a witch. I am a woman. I am a MOTHER. I am the angriest woman you will ever meet. AND I have a big heart with no intentions to hurt anyone anymore Than they are already hurting themselves, OUR COMMUNITY, our children, and our citizens by not listening to the TRUTH.

I am a witch. I am a wickedly good witch. I can prove it in court. I know all about witch-hunts, and scapegoating. I also know all about the #Me Too movement and finally speaking the truth after years of having domestic abuse and sexual trauma kept hidden behind a deer in headlights smile. Today, I am thankful for FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

I am also thankful for the healing properties that alcohol can have on a person once they hit rock-bottom and bounce back stronger than before. I am also thankful for surgeries gone wrong, or right, and the irony found in life that helps us laugh at the news and at other people’s traumas, while we continue to let abusers win at games where the one who loses in the end is the one who never learns to laugh at themselves or to forgive others and learn to love them for what is still good about them.

Freedom from narcissists is a hard road to hoe….especially when a past narcissistic abuser tells you the words, “Who’d want you? Look at you…you’re nothing but a __________, No one would want you! You don’t have a high school diploma, you have eight kids, you are nothing but a piece of shit!”

Well, well, well….May we all have such LIBERTY to shit in gold toilets with poop that looks like rainbows from eating colored popcorn! May we ALL have such liberty to shit in glorified outhouses like the one I grew up with….

and may we ALLLLLL have such liberty to Swive, tinder swipe, tweet, twitter, twat, and ONLY accept the results if WE ALL CAN ENJOY A WIN/WIN!

This year, I am going to go dance my ASSets off at a Fourth of July gathering at Island Park, over here in Springtuckey, Oregon….where rapists go free because it is a “No Fault” state….and be thankful I don’t live in Saudi Arabia where they cannot say the things I just did in this letter without threat of jail or death.

Long live Trump! We don’t want Pence taking over….or the Clintons! Lawyers are liars when they tell lies! We don’t want a dead gorilla running our country!

We should consider retiring the office of “president” and just aim for “Chief Scapegoat”….or “Next Target for Assinine Assassination Elect”…how about just ONE brave Native American Goddess, or African American Goddess, or Mixed Race Goddess running our country for a change?

Maybe we should begin really LISTENING to our children’s cries for peace and safety….and for access to BOTH parents who love them? Maybe separating mothers from their children should be something Melania and Donald get to enjoy for a couple of years…they’ll get over it. Shit like that can happen in this GREAT NATION of ours. It has mine.


LONG LIVE MY CHILDREN’S FATHER….he is forgiven and already set free from the guilt. I allowed it. I put up with it. I protected him. I would still protect him, give him amnesty, and give him a hug…for my children’s sake.

They should be proud of their father. He has overcome a lot in this fucked up world of ours and it is not HIS fault I am a stronger woman than he thought. I was raised to have tough skin, covered in feathers like a U of O Duck alumni.

I am an Oregonian. I am a Pioneer. Watch me chop off chicken heads and pluck feathers to make soup. Sit down and enjoy some yogi positive energy tea..and some fresh organic strawberry shortcake…then we can go out and dance with Trump supporters, Democrats, Independents, Christians, Wiccans, Pagans, Fairies, Gnomes, and Oregon Country Fair going hippies to “The Guess Who?” at Island Park just because we live in a land where we are all learning how to grow up together while having fun doing it!

Peace be with you this Fourth of July, 2018 wherever you are located, and on whatever side of the pond from which you come!



Oregon born, Bardass Poet, Bat-Shit Crazy Stand-Up Comedian, Entertaining Social Activist, Mamadadaist Artist of 8 kids, Weirdo Wonder Woman, Narc Researcher

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Lorrance Herring

Oregon born, Bardass Poet, Bat-Shit Crazy Stand-Up Comedian, Entertaining Social Activist, Mamadadaist Artist of 8 kids, Weirdo Wonder Woman, Narc Researcher