Hot! Hot! Hot! National Conspiracy!

Okay, today’s National Conspiracy Day is an attempt to really screw us up!

In America on July 29, 2020 we are encouraged to celebrate Buffalo wings. Yesterday it was Buffalo Soldiers, today it is Buffalo wings. Sometimes I think this National Holiday stuff is for the birds!

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However, chicken wings marinated in hot sauce and cooked over a grill do sound good. Add some celery and carrot sticks and some bleu cheese dressing and it sounds like a great summer meal. Maybe toss in a salad. I’ll consider that for dinner.

But, today is also National Lasagna Day. I haven’t made lasagna in a very long time. I enjoy lasagna, too! Except, I just can’t wrap my brain, or my taste buds, around serving both lasagna and hot wings at the same meal, or even on the same day. And, who decided to make a hot summer day in July the day to enjoy a heavy food that, in my opinion, makes a much better fall or winter dish?

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I don’t think I want to be stuck in a hot kitchen boiling and layering noodles, sauce, cheeses, and vegetables and then waiting for it to bake in my oven. By the time the production was finished, I’d probably be too overheated to want to eat anything hot and cheesy. Besides, I’m trying to lose a few Coronavirus pounds I’ve put on since the lock-down began.

So, if you want to observe National Lasagna Day, go for it!

I might begin a lasagna garden…or a lasagna compost pile. That’s where you layer green and brown compostable garden material to make a good growing soil in order to grow most of the ingredients used in dishes like lasagna and salads. Actually, if you just keep tossing compost material in a pile, it will eventually turn to soil full of nutrients that the roots of plants suck up.

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Today is also National Lipstick Day…so, grab your favorite color and indulge in some lipstick sin! Yes, once upon a time it was a sin to wear lipstick. It was considered inappropriate by the Queen of England.

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It was the sign of the harlot, it was made from poison, associated with witchcraft, and used as a deceptive device to entice men to marry women.

So, when a man felt tempted to kiss a woman because her lips looked colorful and enticing, he was literally taking his own life in his hands. If he married her, well…I guess he signed up for it!

Enjoy!

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Oregon born, Bardass Poet, Bat-Shit Crazy Stand-Up Comedian, Entertaining Social Activist, Mamadadaist Artist of 8 kids, Weirdo Wonder Woman, Narc Researcher

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Lorrance Herring

Oregon born, Bardass Poet, Bat-Shit Crazy Stand-Up Comedian, Entertaining Social Activist, Mamadadaist Artist of 8 kids, Weirdo Wonder Woman, Narc Researcher