It’s a Crazy Mixed Breed Conspiracy!

Today’s conspiracy to control our national activities and food choices might be enough to drive you a little batty. It would definitely be a challenge to observe them all today. They are pretty diverse and gnarly, you mangy mutt!

So, before the ASPCA is called in to take you away to the Funny Farm, you might want to consider celebrating today, July 31, 2020 by taking a deep breath.

Then bake a raspberry cake with an avocado mask on your face. Go ahead. Just do it.

You need to do this, of course, so you can give the cake as a gift of appreciation to someone who is in the SAD profession.

Take the cake, while wearing the mask, and head to a nearby building that provides an elevator and strike up a conversation with the fellow humans trapped inside that moving box with you. Ignore the looks on their faces. Just do it. Get out of your comfort zone.

Ask them where the IT department is located because you have a cake to deliver to the Systems Administrator because you want to cheer them up.

Don’t worry about the stares. Seeing someone with avocado on their face in public will cheer them up too and give them something to talk about at dinner and besides, it makes a natural sun block and can prevent sunburn.

After you deliver the cake you can head to a local animal shelter and find a cute little mutt who will be more than happy to lick your face as you give it attention. You could do something gnarly and adopt the dog after it gets over its upset stomach. Avocados aren’t the best thing to feed to dogs. Not as bad as chocolate or caffeine, but they can be slightly toxic to certain animals.

You will, of course, have to convince the volunteers at the shelter that you are of sound mind and body and perfectly capable of taking care of a mutt and are not in danger of being admitted to a local shelter yourself.

Or, you could do something really gnarly and skip the whole fiasco of acknowledging that today is the National Get Gnarly Day, National Talk in an Elevator Day, National Systems Administrator Appreciation Day, National Avocado Day, National Mutt Day, and National Raspberry Cake Day. Whew!

I mean, how do the people who come up with these days expect anyone to work all of them in to one day? Honestly!

With the Coronavirus pandemic going on I’m avoiding riding, much less talking, in elevators. My adopted cat would not appreciate the introduction of a dog into her realm, as much as I would love to help provide a nice home for a mixed breed. My first beloved dog was a mutt and she was an amazing pet.

I do appreciate all the computer Geeks out there who know how to fix technical issues. So, thank you!

My raspberry patch is already done producing raspberries, and I’m watching my weight, so I don’t need the cake.

I think I’ll do something gnarly, though. I might go to the store and get an avocado and eat it in a sandwich for lunch, drink some raspberry Kombucha, and put on the song, “They’re Coming To Take Me Away”. I’ll think about Hulda Crook who picked up the gnarly hobby of mountain climbing at the age of 54 and eventually climbed Mt. Fuji at the age of 91. That’s crazy!

An avocado sandwich sounds more exciting, and doable, than climbing Mt. Fuji today. At least for this year.

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