I am a philosopher at heart. I am also a creative writer that enjoys conspiracy theories and discussing logical outcomes for situations. Some days, I feel as though I am the only person on Earth left with any capacity for logic and reasoning, when I apply my knowledge from my research to current situations and then carry them out to a feasible, and extreme potential ending. At the rate our world is going, it quite often ends in total self-implosion, except for the few babies we idiots continue to produce.
Let’s take the subject of self-implosion. The ultimate self-implosion is suicide. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, at least for the individual who carries it out to it’s successful end. Mass suicide on a global scale sounds insane. I mean, who would be left to analyse and write about the whys and reasoning behind such a maneuver? I have witnessed an elephant paint a self-portrait, so maybe God is an elephant. I have also read the poem, “The Blind Men and the Elephant.” Maybe, the conception of God is something we can’t quite grasp.
Maybe, it will be the non-empathetic Fucktard Androids with a sense of self-agency who have been programmed to annihilate humans in order to save the planet from them who end up being our Gods. Hmmm. Well, we might be able to save the few remaining animals they/we don’t destroy in the process of destroying our own ability to live on this planet. Androids don’t need oxygen to live. Androids don’t need humans to live. Androids could feasibly live on the moon. The Hopi have a prophecy of the end times that seems to be unfolding before us, and there is a belief that we once lived on the moon before we destroyed it and jumped to the earth. The earth could be the last house on the block for us human animals.
I mean, we are ALL animals at the core of who we are as representatives of a Creator, a GOD we don’t quite understand, right? We are a concoction of chemicals and elements, infused with electricity and a spirit to carry on forever and ever and ever, right? I tell people I will live forever, in some way, shape or form, just by default of existing at all. I also tell people that I have always existed and have only traveled forward in different human vessels, like a pay it forward approach. I also tell people I am God in female fleshly form, come down from my lofty throne to tell them all a thing or two. Most people don’t listen to me, unless I make them laugh. Jesus made some people laugh, and he made other people want to kill him. I tell people I SHE-Jesus, but I am not Sheesuz. That is Lily Allen, dear. She scares the crap out of me. I am THE Anti-Christ.
You could say I like to mix it up. I am a renaissance woman with a passion and a vengeance for righteous forgiveness in the extreme. I cannot out-forgive Jesus, can I? I cannot out-forgive GOD, can I? I have been raped by GOD, so maybe, if GOD can forgive ME, then I can forgive HIM. I have been called all sorts of names by bullies my whole life. GOD is a bully and a rapist. Thank God, my earthy father was neither of those in my understanding. He wasn’t perfect, and I argued with him until it put me into tears. But, he encouraged me to argue. He was also a racist. I am NOT!
He was also a Narcissist, who shot our family dog in the head because it bit one of his children. He also drank a lot and was an alcoholic. He also made a ton of mistakes, such as giving his money away to a church so the “prophet” could fly around in his jet with his gold toilet while having sex with his own daughter. My dad never once molested me. He did however read the bible to me every night and now I can’t watch the news. Thanks, dad. He also read poetry to me every night, and gave me a love for the written word and plenty of time alone in my bedroom reading books and writing my own poetry. Now I am a poor poet and writer, with a screwed up world-view, and no access to my eight children, unless I pay $400.00 for two hours of supervised parenting sitting around a library conference table. Thanks, dad.
You gave your blessing to my marriage and asked my future husband how many chickens and goats he had to trade for me while we sat at the Windward Inn Restaurant on Hwy 101 in Florence, Oregon. I am a modern day throw-back to a different time period. I was raised like a scrappy pioneer girl, and I am now a wandering Bard. I am a Bardass, to be more “pacific” like my mother would say. I corrected her as a child one day.
“Mom, we can’t get any more Pacific. We’d end up in the ocean. The word is “Specific.” One could say I was born to be a rebel Grammar Nazi, I also once gave the head-hauncho of Three Rivers Casino, Mike Rose, a grammar lesson while sitting in his office as a lowly housekeeper going to school full time as a single mother while raising a houseful of children. I’m sure he might remember that if reminded.
I also sat inside the Registar’s office at the University of Oregon and asked him if he were God, because I was the Anti-Christ and wanted to find God on campus. He said he didn’t know how to push the right buttons to get me registered for classes so I wouldn’t lose my Ford Family Foundation Scholarship. Brian Lowery has an unhealthy foot fetish. He has Big Foot all over his office. I took a Folklore seminar with a man who believes Big Foot is real. I told Mr. Lowery, who has my dowry, that he has some weirdos running around on campus. I am one of them. I have been accused of being Wonder Woman. Since Trump came into office, I now know that I am Weirdo Woman.
I held hostage negotiations with Sandy Winetraub of the Wine Tribe Nation at the U of O, after telling him that I was THE Anti-Christ and was thinking about inviting Richard Spencer to campus to such my Republican dick…it’s an elephant trunk attachment tucked behind my new purse design: a man-pouch hanging right between my legs. I put it together from items found at my local thrift store. I believe in intelligent design. He obviously did not get my satire and has never watched the old Turner classic, “Meet John Doe.” When I threatened to take an Icarus and Daedalus flying leap off of the Prince Lucifer Campbell Soupbox Building on campus, (PLC, the ugliest building on campus that they stick us English majors in), while screaming at every Christian and Trump-voting fan “Resurrect this, you mother fuckers! Give me back my kids!”, he asked me to PLEASE stay home! I replied, “So, this is how Oscar Wilde gets kicked out of school, is it?”
When I got upset at finding yet another parking ticket on my windshield because it took forever to get the printers to work, and I was helping a student with one of his paper ideas…it didn’t go over too well when I came into class with my, “Men Like Trump Can Still Kiss My Royal” political sign hanging on my back and mentioned if anyone runs around campus squirting insulation foam in every single fucking parking meter, puts a KKK hood over them and lynches them, it wasn’t ME…I just talked about it to everyone I met, the satire and humor was lost on my professors who TAUGHT me about satire.
Professor Laskaya said I had what she referred to as, “Filter Flop.” I beleive that is when your social filter flops on the ground gasping for air and you just don’t care what you say to ANYONE anymore because you are just THAT pissed at the injustices that are running rampant in our society.
I do know how to restrain myself, and am still allowed to walk in public and talk to children. I even dance with people of all ages at ecstatic dance, can volunteer and donate my time at schools, and am welcomed to engage with my neighbor’s and their children. I am just considered by my ex-husband;s threatening letter that “I” am a physical and psychological danger to my own children. Go figger.
I am all about figs and figgering things out. I have studied figs in the bible and can talk figs with the best of them. I know how to tell when a fig is ripe. And, if you are a man, so should you. You have a couple of them hanging between your legs, underneath your cucumber. I should know, I put them there! I’m the Fig Tree in the garden of Eden, known as the Fairyfigmother. The U of O was nice enough to have a FIG program started just for me. Freshman Incoming Group. I can explain all sorts of acronyms to those young wine skins. I can explain how to become a member of the STD club, (Sigma Tau Delta…and how to avoid the other club), and then I can educate them about Narcissism, since I figgered it all out half-way through the EGO club: (English Graduate Organization). I just LOVE acronyms! In the beginning was LOGOS and the LOGOS was God! I have eaten the LOGOS and whatever I eat turns into ME!
What can I say? I AM WHO I AM. I just AM. I AM. and I like to play with myself…in IAMbic pentameter, IAMbic tetrameter, and I even play with my IAMbic feet on the dance floor! I am poetry in motion when I dance. I am a dancing demon, a dancing GODDESS, and I encourage everyone to dance like no one is watching, because everyone is watching you anyway!
I was raised with the Bible as my guiding force in life to keep me safe from harm and a faith to believe it’s promises. I was also raised in a cult that screwed with my worldview in such a way as to work for ME. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here to write about my life as a survivor in the midst of living among the non-empathetic Fucktard Robots, Fucktard Androids, and Humanoids. We can’t blame them. They have been programmed to eliminate us REAL HUMANS!
They have been programmed to be afraid of emotions. Some of them are called DHS caseworkers, Supervised Visitation Workers, and other in our social system who do not CARE about the humanity in parent/child relationships so long as they get their money, make sure the children become programmed to torture their parents until the parents want to eliminate themselves, or eliminate their source of pain at any and all costs.
When a parent has no money because they have taken a vow of poverty due to religious beliefs that is a POOR choice. Broken social systems involved in custody disputes being manipulated by evil-hearted lawyers and ignorant judges who listen to the incomplete story in “No-Fault” states like Oregon have created a situation that is a perfect storm for creating THE Anti-Christ!
I am a GODDESS! I am a Pagan GODDESS with a whole lineage of supporters behind ME in my train! I’m coming back in the clouds, just like I said I would! You didn’t think I could come back as a WOMAN, did you? You all thought I’d just look like a long-haired hippie who was really a man! Well, surprise! I’m everything you didn’t expect, and MORE! I am really Jesus’s SISTER WIFE! And, I am ABBA’s little baby girl. I am MY father, who does art in heaven, hallowed be YOUR name, MY kingdom come, MY will be done, on Earth as it should be in HEAVEN! I’m back, once again, to set a few things straight before y’all beat me up, hang me on a cross, and crucify me once again for being a storyteller with a message from our common Creator, the ALL Father, ALL Mother, ALL family, of ALL our relations!
Are you ready? Are YOU ready for a perfect storm? ’Cause I’m coming at you like a dying cause! I’m starting a revolution of my own! I’m a Universal Mother, a sexy GODDESS, and you don’t have to worship ME, you just need to Worship the written WORD created by YHWH, a God of Organic Intelligence, not Artificial Intelligence.
YHWH is an acronym for You! And the rest of us…..Hookers, Whores, and Housewives! We are ALL God’s and Goddesses of our own making! And, we are ALL powerful animals and creatures of our own making, running around on a ball spinning in space, reliving our past lives as Angels and Demons, Gods and Goddesses, working together to feed the Conglomerate BEAST that sacrifices our children to a false GOD of this screwed up world.
Our new religion is Sunday Football, Shopping Malls, Plastic Replacements, and SEX with devices and machines that are programmed to serve our CONSUMERISM, while we watch ourselves destroy our children’s futures on this once beautiful, abundant, green, organic planet!
Maybe we should bring back a council of 24 elders to run our American Government! Maybe we should shut down the grid and the Android dolls before it’s too late. Maybe we should program them to detonate on contact with sperm, especially if they begin making Android dolls in the form of children for pedophiles! Maybe we should install built-in guillotines for the Android dolls who are us real women’s replacements!
Maybe we should quite supplying children for the slaughter machine of war, football and violence, perpetrated by MEN and WOMEN who are money-hungry, self-entitled, RICH, elitists like ME! I had eight children to leave behind in this scary world! My children will become the contemporaries for these Androids and Humanoids and I don’t believe I prepared them well enough to deal with BULLIES and VIOLENCE! I raised MY children to be pacifists. Unfortunately, I married a football fanatic with power and control issues who wants to raise a new generation of children who don’t respect their mother!
My mission? Somehow communicate to my children that I LOVE THEM! ALL of them….even YOU and YOUR children! Unless, you are a bully, or a non-empathetic Fucktard Android, racist, bigot, narcissistic, testosterone driven PEDOPHILE who believes cannibalism is a viable option. Or an abusive rapist who uses their children as a shield to cover up their OWN SINS while pointing their fingers at their HUMAN SCAPEGOAT targets while their children end up riddled with psychological issues like all of MINE!
My teenagers and adult children who have been caught in a cycle of Parental Alienation Syndrome, whose father is a legal alien with isms and a history of domestic violence and terrorism in his background of “perfection” have been diagnosed with issues such as ODD behavior (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), ADHD, AUTISM, DYSLEXIA, PARANOIA, NARCISSISM, ERRATIC BEHAVIOR, DEPRESSION, SCHIZOPHRENIA, ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY DISORDERS, DISORDERLY CONDUCT, HOMELESSNESS, MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES up the YING-YANG, and one of them is going to Oregon State University to become a legalized drug dealer.
She is the daughter of a Narcissist and a Martyr, a Hero and a Villain, A GOD and a GODDESS. She is one of MANY Goddesses in the making. She is also a gun-slinging pirate, a Trump fan, and a Country Western Music fan!
We are SO much alike, we are almost polar opposites! She won’t talk to me, because she worships her Daddy: the man who once held his fist over her face when she was 15 years old because she wouldn’t give him one of her dollars so he could go get himself a Big Mac Meal with Dr. Pepper. That day there wasn’t any ice-cubes in the freezer.
That day, I tried to stand up to him and it just made things worse.
Today, I will stand up to President Trump and that North Korean Fucktard Jong who think they are BOTH gods! Today, I could accidentally assassinate Trump and the entire Federal Government just by talking them to death! Strapped naked to chairs, on National Television, along with Pence, Putin, MElania (who doesn’t want to see her naked?), both Clintons (we’ll need some attorneys present) and Richard Spencer (the poster-boy for KKK…I thought Hitler died a few years ago!). When I need to take a break and get some sleep or go make a pan of my now Famous Anti-Christ brownies, I’ll just send in my friends who have Asperger’s. One of them kept a man on the phone for 24 hours straight!
She has what she refers to as “flesh hunger.” She might actually fuck one of them, if she thinks they are sexy enough. I will keep my Vitamix plunger away from her, though. She told me it makes a great Dildo for poor women like us! I’m more organic than that. I’ll go after a nice sized cucumber before I consider any of those Androids. The English kind already have a built on plastic wrapping, called a manufactured condom. I should have taken that into consideration back when I worked in the produce department when I met my now ex-husband, raised by a pedophile and a mother who plotted murder in her heart toward my ex-husband’s step-dad and tried to get her son to carry it out for her. He has an English cucumber that is so “perfect” he once refused to get a vasectomy. “Why break perfection?” he once told me.
He also said to me when I found out he was cheating on me and confronted him about it, after giving him eight children (who he now has sole custody and control over without my having ANY contact allowed unless he carefully orchestrates it..what exactly is he trying to hide? My fears run rampant!):
“What are YOU going to do about it? Just look at you! You have eight kids, no education, and you’re nothing but a fucking alcoholic!” He also didn’t want me to get any help as he continued to buy me alcohol because he “liked” a drunk wife eh could manipulate and beat down to the point of raping me and saying that it was fun.
I guess I forgot to inform him that he married THE Anti-Christ! I could be worse. I can forgive him. For my children’s sake, I can forgive their Father for almost killing me more times than I can count. I can also forgive MY father, and my Father in Heaven. But, I have to say at the age of almost fifty….I want my MOMMY!