Letter to Our Illustrious President

“See the bottom line is, I know you like me, and this room is a love fest. I know that, but you have no choice but to vote for me because your 401(k)s — down the tubes. Everything’s gonna be down the tubes. So, whether you love me or hate me, you got to vote for me.” — President Trump

Dear Donald,

No, I do not like you. I do not like any leader who smashes his fugly butt-lips…