Mother Earth’s Adult Bedtime Story

“Physician, heal thyself” Luke 4:23

Bring me your children and I’ll sing them to sleep

With Mother Goose rhymes and tales from the deep.

I’ll tell them of mermaids, and pirates, and more.

They’ll drift off in slumber to Sugarplum Shore.

But then, I’ll slip out of the bedroom, my dear

And put on a costume and beckon you near.

I’ll dress like a bird and sit in my chair

And comb through my tresses; there’s snakes in my hair!

They came out of my head like Medusa’s, it’s true.

One look from me and I’ll cut you right through

To your heart where I see the niggle of fright.

I’ll trouble and scare you into the night.

I’m all full of stories from near and afar.

I’ve traveled this way just by riding a star

Tossed out of Heaven and poured out like milk.

My skin is a rainbow, my tongue is like silk.

I am the Phoenix, returned from the ashes.

I am the Princess, watch out for my lashes!

I am the Queen, the Goddess, the Whore!

I can babble forever; then tell you some more.

I come bearing vegetables, fruit, and some meat

From the days of Creation where honey is sweet.

Where the fields are all ripe for a harvesting fest.

I’m here for the harvest, and it’s YOU I like best!

I’ll treat you, and eat you, and leave you alive.

I’ll touch you, and taste you, and then I will swive

With your mind, like a whiplash! I’ll cut you right down.

Be careful, my dear, you might knock off my crown.

Only you fuckers have done this to me

Out of love, out of playing my heart

Like it’s free. Someday, I’ll capture the pearl that I lost.

Someday, I’ll show you exactly who’s boss!

You spurned me, and burned me, and sent me away.

So, I gave you my home. And, now let us pray

For your soul to be saved in this life here and now,

And when we all take that last final bow.

The Father of Lies, and all the fruit flies

Has given me my own permission

To tell of my tales of fishes and whales;

Your ears are the price of admission!

Are you ready? Let’s go and get on with this show

Embark on a journey with me.

I’ll bring you aboard with me and MY Lord,

My God? He’s a man of the Sea.

I’m the Goddess who birthed him, he’s right by my side

With me and the rest of my crew.

I came up from behind, and slipped into his mind

And now I know just what to do!

I’ll haggle, I’ll cackle, tell riddles, and scorn!

Hey, look at me! I write intelligent porn!

I rise like a cock with the dawn of each day

So, give me a break, I just want to play!

I’ve played with the Bull, and with Big Bullies, too.

So, watch out you men, I’m coming for you!

I’ll pick on your pecker; I’ll squeeze til it’s hard.

I’m a piper of words; a damned foolish bard.

I’ll line you all up and start at your toes

And kiss you all thoroughly right up to your nose.

If I find you enticing, and sexy as shit,

you’ll go to bed happy and won’t know what hit.

But, first I’ll need papers, and lots of degrees.

I must remain pure, so get on your knees!

You must be romantic, and not need a ring

For your cock to get hard when you hear my voice sing.

I sing of temptation, of wanting some more!

I sing of escaping and swimming for shore!

So, come all you pirates who sail the seas

Come rest in my arms, in the shade of my trees.

I’ll strip you down naked, and feed you my fruit

I’ll get you all horny and then steal your loot.

It’s already mine; you don’t know it yet.

You can’t take it with you, on that you can bet!

So, leave all your cares and your worries behind

And come play with me and see what you find

On the wings of this flight into pure fantasy

Where the men are all sex slaves and the women roam free.

The tables get turned, and turned back some more

And we dance in the moments like we did once before.

No matter how wrinkled, how old and despised,

In my ideal realm, you’re all young in my eyes.

You’ll always be young and hard like a bull

I’ll ride you ‘til morning until I am full

Of your spirit and juices that become part of me.

My fruit will be fresh, like the Fairy Fig Tree.

You’ll live in my garden of earthly delights

We’ll roll like the thunder, and get into some fights.

But you must stand down and bow down to me.

Or, I’ll send in my warriors, my Goddesses three.

And then I’ll send more like a hoard of women,

like legions of demons, released from my pen.

I have cave bitches, slave bitches, you’ll all walk the planks!

If you don’t do as your bid and fill those love tanks.

The maidens are coming! Like the bright morning sun

They all want your body, your booty, and fun!

The mothers are coming, so run for the hills!

They have oodles of stresses and piles of bills.

The crones, the old hags, the ladies with baggage

The life-weary travelers with boobs that have saggage

Are on their way out, to make room for some more.

So, don’t worry, soldier; come rest on my shore.

We’ll strip you down naked, and inspect all your skin.

We will age you and rank you with the condition you’re in.

We will pair you up nicely, like a meal with fine wine,

Or a hale, hearty beer with a slab of that swine.

We’ll peck you to pieces and crack open your bones

After we shoot you with arrows that fly from our thrones.

We’ll look in your eyes and see worlds of fear

So, plug up your ears if you don’t want to hear:

You killed your own mother, you killed your own dad.

You killed your own brother because you were mad.

You killed your own sister, you killed your own God.

You killed your own self like a bumbling clod.

Now come all you weary, and you who need rest.

Come live in the place where the stories are best

Told like a hero who overcame all,

So, slurp down some oysters and let’s play some ball!

Put on some music and kick up your heels!

Let’s dance in the moonlight, and do jigs and reels!

Let’s tumble together and fall into bed

Then wake up in the morning and forget what we did.

I’ll visit your dreams; I’m a traveling bard.

You’ll crow like a rooster with a cock that gets hard

At the mere slightest stroke from my soft feathered quill.

You’ll remember my touch and then let it fill

Your senses, your essence, your very membrane

Your memories will float like a graceful white crane

And soar over the earth til they land in this spot

Then, you’ll look at your trunk and think ”that’s what I got?”

I’ll sprouts wings like an angel and then fly away.

But, I’ll return once again when I’m ready to play

With the boy, and the dad, and the old geezer, too.

We all deserve sex…maybe just not with you!

We all deserve love, wherever we find it.

We all deserve time; we can never rewind it.

We all deserve grace; we all deserve care.

Even if your own mother has snakes in her hair!

You belong to the Goddess of virginal earth

Without her, my child, there would be NO birth.

You belong to the God with the eternal eye

Who looks into your soul when you’re ready to die.

So, live! And live fully and don’t forget Love

As long as we live, we must all rise above

all the fighting and fussing, the angst and the ire

and sit in serenity next to a fire.

A campfire, a wood stove, a small candle flame

will remind you of loving the one who’s to blame.

We all are to blame, we all have a part.

Are you all full of Hope? Then be hopeful and start!

Are you all full of Faith? Then be faithful and true.

When healing begins it must start with you.

Are you all full of Fear? Then be fearful and hide.

Are you all full of yourself? Then be all full of pride.

Are you all full of wisdom? Then let yourself ride

With the sages and ages of people before

Who walked on my waters, and arrived on that shore

of Golden Utopia, where all’s right and good

And sit under a tree in your own neighborhood.

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Oregon born, Bardass Poet, Bat-Shit Crazy Stand-Up Comedian, Entertaining Social Activist, Mamadadaist Artist of 8 kids, Weirdo Wonder Woman, Narc Researcher

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Lorrance Herring

Lorrance Herring

Oregon born, Bardass Poet, Bat-Shit Crazy Stand-Up Comedian, Entertaining Social Activist, Mamadadaist Artist of 8 kids, Weirdo Wonder Woman, Narc Researcher

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