The Grumpy Men I Love

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My Carpenter is grumpy; he hardly says a word.

And so, I squawk and chirp at him just like a little bird.

“God, you’re annoying! Now go away! Let me work alone!”

And, so, I kindly told him off and went inside my home.

My Carpenter is grumpy; he’s really very rude.

He says his favorite word of all, of course, is “solitude”.

“I do not want to talk of this, I do not want to talk of that.

I do not want to talk of you, and how that dress makes you look fat.”

My Carpenter is grumpy; he works so very hard.

He calls me “Captain Obvious,” when I thought I was a bard.

“You forgot something” I say to him, as I tell him what to do.

“No, I did not! I’m not yet done! Now go away and shoo!”

My Carpenter is grumpy, cause he knows I care too much.

He tolerates my foolishness but can hardly stand my touch.

“Don’t get too close! Don’t breath on me! I do not want to die!”

Holy crap! He’s an idiot! I could kill him with my eye!

My Carpenter is scared of me, it must be the lazer beams.

My eyes alone are scary, as they flash lightning in my dreams.

“Don’t look at me! Stop staring! I can’t worry at all about you!

And, don’t worry about me! I’m fine! I’m fine! Now go away and shoo!”

My Carpenter is surely fine, and handsome as can be!

He’s big and strong, and talented, and not at all like me.

I’m an evil, horrid, woman…a wicked, wicked witch.

“Now go away or I won’t come and work, you evil fucking bitch!”

My Carpenter left grumpy, now I feel grumpy, too.

He didn’t even say good-bye, so now I just feel blue.

“You forgot something” I told him when he wasn’t even there.

“You forgot to smile and laugh with me,” I said into the air.

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Oregon born, Bardass Poet, Bat-Shit Crazy Stand-Up Comedian, Entertaining Social Activist, Mamadadaist Artist of 8 kids, Weirdo Wonder Woman, Narc Researcher

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Lorrance Herring

Lorrance Herring

Oregon born, Bardass Poet, Bat-Shit Crazy Stand-Up Comedian, Entertaining Social Activist, Mamadadaist Artist of 8 kids, Weirdo Wonder Woman, Narc Researcher

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